Out with it

I’ve been meaning to do this for a while but kept putting it off. And I tend to stay pretty far from social media most days which has made procrastinating on this a lot easier. Then I found out that today is International Non-binary People’s Day and I started reading people’s posts. Stories of courage, stories of solidarity, and yes, stories of loss, but also stories of hope. The kinds of stories about personal experiences that have kept me whole over the years. Two decades of years when I had convinced myself I needed to hide who I was from the world. 

I’m a trans non-binary person (just in case I didn’t put enough clues in that first paragraph). What’s non-binary, you ask? Short answer: awesome incarnate! Slightly longer answer: for me it means I don’t conform to a binary (female or male) gender. 

This has been a long journey for me: from announcing to my father that I didn’t want to grow up to be a man or woman in a crowded elevator at the age of 7 (I quickly backtracked and declared my intention to be a robot), to discovering the joys of pansexuality in high school, to gradually coming out as trans non-binary to my family and friends these past few months, to posting this on my dusty social media accounts. And as I continue diving deeper into my gender transition over the many years to come, though I don’t yet know what exactly to expect, I look forward to the bright, wild, and brilliantly queer adventure ahead.

I wouldn’t have made it this far, and certainly wouldn’t have had the courage to come out more publicly if it weren’t for the love and support of my friends, my family, and most of all, my partner and fellow enby, Emily MacMillen. I almost didn’t make this post. I may have stayed in the closet another twenty years, and one way or another, I’m honestly not sure I would have made it that far if I did. Then I remembered my partner’s post coming out as non-binary last year, then I remember all the other stories of people answering the call to live authentically, and I remembered how time and again seeing others share their truths made me feel like my own life was legitimate. I remembered how many times those stories made me want to hold on to tomorrow.

So that’s it, no more hiding, I am who I am, your friendly neighbourhood trans non-binary giant, Shimshon Obadia. 

Pronouns: they/them. 

Photo credit: Emily MacMillen